Mother had been unconscious for more than a day. The neuro surgeons didn't give much hope. Mother was too frail to withstand surgery and surgery doesn't guarantee a recovery. The notices pasted on the walls of the neurologists' hospital waiting rooms stress the fact the the treatment doesn't guarantee a success. (Fair enough. With such confidence level, I wish allopathy evangelists are sympathetic to alternate systems.)
What appeared to us, her sons and daughter as an easy decision didn't appear to be so to many other families with their elderly in critical condition. The healthcare system and to some extent doctors avoid using the D word. Maybe because the common man doesn't accept death as a reality.
All the elders in my family understood the inevitability of death. When my grandfather had a heart attack, he sent back the doctor named Easwaran. He said, "I don't need Dr. Easwaran, I'm waiting for the real Easwaran". Just a week before his death, an uncle declared that he had a highly satisfied life and was ready to go...preferably to depart from Trichy. My father declined to buy a warranty for his eye glasses as he had no warranty for his life. Mother wanted a quick death like a few relatives; she wasn't as lucky as them, but she must have been quite satisfied as she must have felt no pain and spent just four days in hospital.
Does the next generation have such a perspective? Losing someone close to us is definitely sorrowful. But can we escape it? How long can we run before that sorrow catches up? In the process of deferring the death of a close one, are we denying their dignity? Is it ok to tie a person for months or years to bed just because we don't want them to die? How do we want to remember them after their inevitable death - as a busy cheerful person or as a weak helpless bedridden person?
